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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24204346">I love you. Always.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyprentisss/pseuds/emilyprentisss'>emilyprentisss</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:22:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,094</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24204346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyprentisss/pseuds/emilyprentisss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A little something something inspired by Lea Michele’s song ‘If You Say So’<br/>Set in s6 &amp; s7<br/>There’s a few little changes but I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out what’s what!!! <br/>Enjoy!!!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Derek Morgan/Emily Prentiss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I love you. Always.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴<br/>
𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶<br/>
𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦 </p><p> </p><p>It had been the longest seven days of Derek Morgan’s life. First it was denial. This couldn’t be happening. Not yet anyway. Not to them. Then there was guilt. If he had been a minute earlier, he could have saved her. She’d still be here with the team. With him. Then there was regret. If only he had told her that he loved her before. He could have had longer than a year of being her boyfriend. He could have had 4. Maybe even be her husband by now. </p><p> </p><p>𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴<br/>
𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴<br/>
𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 </p><p> </p><p>“Emily. I need a medic in here NOW. Please hold on. Come on baby. Open those beautiful eyes”<br/>
“D-Der..”<br/>
“Hey baby. You look beautiful. Squeeze my hand. Come on baby. WHERE’S MY MEDIC”<br/>
“I love....you. Always.”<br/>
“No baby don’t you dare close those eyes”</p><p> </p><p>The waiting room was silent. The only thing that could be heard was Penelope’s sobbing. He looked around at the people he loved, his family, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 family. The family that knew long before both Emily and Derek, that they loved each other.<br/>
Jennifer had gone to try and flag down a doctor to check on the progress of Emily’s surgery. It was most likely a distraction from the situation. Since the day Emily started at the BAU, the two had been inseparable. Always laughing and giggling - and then when Penelope is thrown into the mix, it’s always girls nights and wine and secrets.<br/>
Aaron was staring at the clock on the wall, as if he was hoping time would go just that extra bit faster. He hated times like these when the life of one of his agents, a member of his family, was hanging on by a thread.<br/>
David was pacing the floor. It’s a wonder the souls of his shoes hadn’t worn out. He was close to Emily. They had both told each other things that no one else knew. He saw her as the daughter he never had. He loved her.<br/>
Spencer was looking down at the floor not daring to make eye contact with anyone. She was one of his best friends. He had already lost Elle and then Jason. He couldn’t loose Emily.<br/>
Ashley, the newest addition to the team, was staring into a black hole. Derek could see that she was upset. Emily had took her under her wing and in the short period of time they had been working together, they both bonded well and became good friends.<br/>
Penelope was sitting next to him holding his hand. She couldn’t stop crying. Jennifer, Emily and Penelope were the ultimate girls group. They danced together, they did shots after shots after shots together, the spilled all their dirty secrets and they loved romcoms. Those two girls were her best friends and there was no way she was prepared to say goodbye to one of them. Not just yet.<br/>
And as for him. He couldn’t function. He just sat there. Praying for the woman he so desperately loved. </p><p> </p><p>“She never made it off the table”.</p><p> </p><p>𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥<br/>
𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥</p><p> </p><p>The funeral was the hardest. He couldn’t believe he was saying goodbye to the woman he wants to do everything with......𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 to do everything with. He felt the love and support from the team but that’s not the love and support he wanted. It was Emily’s. His Emily. As if she could sense it, his mom gave his hand a tight squeeze and a look of reassurance. He watched as each member of the team laid a rose on top of the black, glossy coffin as a single tear fell from his eye. He watched as Elizabeth Prentiss stood there emotionless. As if she was frozen. As he stepped forward he looked up to the sky, as if she was an angel looking down on him and he allowed himself to cry. He placed the beautiful, white flower down and thought about the last words she said to him. </p><p>“Emily, I love you. Always” </p><p> </p><p>𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴<br/>
𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥<br/>
𝘪 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯</p><p> </p><p>The house that they once shared together was full of their memories. The white picket fence in a cul-de-sac. A garage. A nice big backyard. It was everything they wanted. The sofa she insisted they had to get because it was more comfortable than the one they had already. The TV and speakers that he insisted getting for watching soccer with all his buddies and beers. She agreed as long as she didn’t have to cook the burgers. It turned out she used the speakers to blare that horrible country music that she loved. This memory made him chuckle. The things he would do to hear here sing some of her country songs. When they got together that was one of the things she made him swear not to tell a soul. The kitchen where they had cooked so many meals for not just them, but the team and their families whenever they came to visit. The extra bedrooms that they hoped that maybe, one day, would become their children’s bedrooms. The bed they had put together after 5 hours of reading instructions and arguing. He sat on her side of the bed and picked up the photo that Penelope took of them at one of those stupid FBI balls. She looked beautiful. She was wearing a long purple dress that had a slit in the side of it. It showed of her legs perfectly. Her hair was in an updo with little bits of her hair which shaped her face. He was wearing a black suit with a purple tie to match her dress. Both had huge smiles on their faces. </p><p>He pulled the photo frame close to his chest and laid down. Her pillow even smelt like her. Vanilla and roses.<br/>
It was then he let the tears fall freely.<br/>
He truly lost the woman he loved more than anything. </p><p> </p><p>𝘪 𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦<br/>
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴<br/>
𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺?</p><p> </p><p>He hardly ever slept anymore. And when he did he was having nightmares that never seemed to end. He’d wake up in sweats and feel the same fear every single night. He was back in that warehouse. She was bleeding out in the floor. Begging him to save her. And he can’t. No matter how many times he washed his hands, all he could see was her blood. He was never able to save her. It was like a constant reminder that he had failed. He had failed as her boyfriend. </p><p>At work, he was never the same. The team knew that. Hell, even he knew it. Every thought seemed to be of her. Looking at the desk that was once hers. Looking at the mug that she would drink coffee from up to ten times a day. He was still as professional as ever out in the field but, everyone could sense that his focus, wasn’t on the case at hand. In the jet, there was a sense of emptiness. Where he used to sit across from her and watch over her sleeping body, he just stares out the window with his headphones in. And the only thought that he would have would be of her. Why didn’t she tell him? He could of helped her. Why did she have to be so stubborn. Why did she leave him? Why her? Why the woman he loved?? Why. </p><p> </p><p>𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴<br/>
𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦<br/>
𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦<br/>
𝘪 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t believe it. She was really standing in front of him. Somehow, in that moment, she looked even more beautiful. He didn’t know how to act. It was like time and himself, had froze. He couldn’t move. He felt so angry and so betrayed, but how could he possibly feel like that when she was here.<br/>
“I am so sorry” He recognised her embrace but something about it felt....unfamiliar. He knew he had a million and one things to say to her but now wasn’t the time. They had to get Declan back safely first. </p><p> </p><p>“Derek?” He looked up from his office to see her standing there. “You’re not pissed at me too are you..? Reid can’t look at me”. He sighed and put his pen down.<br/>
“Emily, there’s a lot about you being back that I don’t understand. I know why you did it. I just..I just wish I was told. You have no idea how hard it’s been. I thought I’d lost you. It’s been hell”. She nodded. She understood exactly.<br/>
“I’m sorry. I didn’t have a say in any of it. By the time I was awake long enough to know any better, you guys had already....And, you mourned the loss of one person. I lost all you guys and even, myself” She reached over and grabbed his hands. “Derek. I am truly sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I love you too much. I’m not sure about a lot of things right now but the only thing I know is that, I love you”</p><p>“Oh I’m..Uh..” Penelope froze as she saw Emily retract her hands from Dereks and wipe the tears that’s falling freely from her eyes.<br/>
“I’m sorry I didn’t know....We’re going for some drinks to celebrate us all not being fired if you two wanted to come? We’ll be leaving in 10” and with that the blonde has disappeared with a smile on her face.<br/>
She knew it wasn’t going to be all sunshine and flowers, but her best friend was back and she was going to get her Derek Morgan back. </p><p>“I understand if you don’t want things to go back to how they were before. I can crash at a hotel or something” she sighed before standing up.<br/>
“Emily. You’re not staying in a hotel. I would be a terrible person if I made you stay in a hotel when your home is right here. I’m not saying that it will be the same as before but what I do know is that, I have you back. I am willing to work on it if that’s what you want” She gave him a smile as he closed the office door.<br/>
“God. I bet your mom and sisters will hate me for doing this to you”<br/>
“They won’t hate you. They could never hate you. They’ll understand why. But what about your mom??”<br/>
“She knew I was alive but I couldn’t speak to her. She understood that in order to stay alive, I had to leave. She gets it” </p><p>At some point while they were walking to the elevator their hands found each other’s and he smiled because the woman who he loves, is right there. He knew only time would tell if their relationship would go back to the way it used to be. But for now, he was just thankful he could be in her presence.  </p><p> </p><p>𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬 𝘢𝘨𝘰<br/>
𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭<br/>
𝘪 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦<br/>
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩<br/>
𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦</p><p> </p><p>She slowly opened her eyes as she felt someone sit opposite her. When she saw who it was she smiled sleepily.<br/>
“You okay?” she nodded.<br/>
“I’m good. Sometimes I wish serial killers would just have one day off”<br/>
“I’m really sorry...”<br/>
“For what??”<br/>
“You got shot” She shook her head at him.<br/>
“You made a tactical decisi-“<br/>
“That ended up with you getting hurt. Again. I can’t protect you”<br/>
“Derek. This, this is nothing. Look at me. I am fine. You were being a team leader. It’s part of the job. This isn’t your fault”<br/>
“Actually, it is”<br/>
“You did what you thought was right and that’s all you can do. I’m alright. However, the Doyle thing...” He just stares at her.<br/>
“Hey I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I love you. I’m gonna get some sleep. I suggest you do the same. Your mom is arriving tomorrow”. </p><p>He still couldn’t believe that the woman was real. He couldn’t believe he got a second chance at something so profound. He never took it for granted. He watched over his wife until her breathing became slower and more shallow and muttered “I love you. Always” and put his headphones on.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don’t own the lyrics or the show.<br/>Please feel free to leave feedback or whatever! &lt;3 stay safe</p><p>(I might write some more things soon if people want me too!! Requests are also open!!)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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